Diary Entry 42.0000A: Internet Rule 34 and the Dirty Fanfiction Addiction

This post is a confession.

I’m addicted to reading. It’s a healthy addiction I think. I read alot of books, mostly urban fantasy and horror. But there’s a seedy underbelly of my healthy addiction. It happened when I stumbled upon fanfiction.

It was around 2002-3 timeframe. Buffy was in its 6th season I believe. And I just wanted more in the story-line about Spike. Because Spike was hot. You know, they showed a lot of James Marsters’ skin the 6th and 7th season. Nummy. Siiiigh. Ahem, anywhoo, I wanted more with my characters. So I’m spending the military’s money cruising the internet at work, looking for stuff on Buffy (you know, like little tidbits, maybe some spoilers, pics of J. M. with his shirt off and such) and find this website with stories. Huh?

Is this… heaven?

It was a frackin ultimate high.

It was like… remember the What If Marvel Comics? I still have somewhere one from right after the Phoenix Saga. It was taking your favorite characters and continuing the story, or changing it so that what you wanted to happen, happened! It was GREAT!

And then… I found the dirty stories. Of course I did. And hey, my mind is already pretty perverted, but now, where in Season 6 when Buffy and Spike first get all HBO on the screen and it fades to black, now, I had the full story! This was back before I had my own computer and there was such a thing as the government blocking sites or monitoring a regular office’s computer (or I think, no one ever said anything to me, so meh). So I would read all day long. I would print off some chapters to a long fic I was reading, and take it back to my barracks room to finish. I read through the daggone internet all the Buffy fanfic that I could get my hands on until… I couldn’t find anymore to read. It was like, my crack ran out. Sure there were still some stories here and there, but not enough to feed my beast. People weren’t writing fast enough. I’m a frickin speed reader and they weren’t producing! So… I left it for a while… breaking myself away from the addiction.

Until… I started getting into Naruto. Yes, Naruto. Hey, I’m not sure where in the timeline of my life this is, but I know it had to be about 2003 or later because there were already tons of Naruto episodes out. I remember visiting home, and my young sister going on and on about this silly ninja cartoon that she loved. Now, I remember watching Sailor Moon as a younger dimensionthe5th, an even watching a couple of episodes here and there of Pokemon with my siblings (and remember, I can’t watch the first Pokemon movie ending without shedding a tear). But this, this was straight up anime, and I wasn’t THAT kind of geek yet. Until, I sat and watched a couple of episodes. And saw the character Kakashi Hatake. And by then I had my own computer, and I searched… for fanfiction. Oh dear baby Jesus.

It was the super high all over again, and I hid my addiction because who wants to admit to reading dirty stories about cartoon characters? Ha… there’s many on the internet because there are huuuuuuge fanclubs. I even felt bad sometimes watching the show, getting my memories all mixed up, trying to think “Did Kakashi really do that in the anime? Um, no, because only in the fanfiction world would he do that with Sakura because they aged her up.” And after Naruto, I realized there was fanficition for almost any tv show, anime, any book, move, heck even pop stars! Even my beloved X-men characters. Storm and Wolverine definitely should’ve gotten together. The fanfics SAY SO! The writing was sometimes really good, sometimes written by a 13-year-old that obviously never had kiss let alone understood that nookie just did. not. work. that. way.

And let’s not even talk about the male pregnancy fics. What in the blue blazes O_o ?

My son and I are watching Firefly now (well, I’m re-watching). And my laptop is there. My fingers start a-googling. There’s fanfiction. What if Mal Reynolds had a thing for crazy River? Hmmm. *saves link to Mal/River stories, while checking to see if any new Sandor Clegane/Sansa Stark stories were written recently*

I still say it’s a better addiction than most. I mean, this is my brain on fanfiction. Slightly more perverted than normal. Okay, I’m lying, my pervertedness is over 9,000 with a cherry on top. Not because of the internet. That just enhanced it.

Don’t look at me like that. What’s your favorite character, book or show? I dare you to search for some fanfiction for it. Double dog dare you.

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