My son is lucky that he’s one of the few children I actually like…

Conversation with my teenager:

Monster Teen: Argh! My back hurts so bad!

Me: Lay on the floor and I’ll crack your back.

Monster Teen: How are you going to do that! Isn’t that dangerous?

Me: Monster Teen, how can cracking your back be dangerous?

Monster Teen: Couldn’t that give you scoliosis or something?


Me: Boy, I’m about to slap the “special moment” out of you.

*Monster Teen has his own theme song. Whenever he says or does something so absurd like the conversation above I sing “Speciaaaaal… Momeeeeents… dodo-dodo-dodo”*


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