So… I enjoy word games. Scrabble, Words With Friends, Word Twists, crossword puzzles, and Fightin’ Words. It’s a great way to pass time if I’m not reading. And for some reason, people are less likely to bother you while you’re playing a game on your phone than if you are on your e-reader. Go figure.
Anyway, my favorite one has a chat. I just play random people, and 20 games at a time (since that’s all the system will allow… Bastards). And of course you get the weirdos trying to A/S/L hit on you in a basic chat function. So for those people I do one of two things: direct them to here 🙂 or come up with silly answers. I’ve said that I was Over 9000 when asked my age. Another person asked what I do for a living: I’m a Vampire Ninja Kitty (that will be the name of my fantasy production company one day) that saves the world every 24 hours, duh! I’ve also said I’m from the moon, planet Vegeta, The Leaf Village, and Middle Earth when asked.
But then the other night, well, two people seriously had their g-strings snugly wedged in their no-no place. One guy sends me a message saying “methinks someone is cheating.” To which I said “Methinks? Sounds like someone needs a dictionary.” And then he goes on to say I have to be cheating for using words like STY and AY. Really? Since when are those hard words? Okay yes, I understand that since writing is my passion I may know more words than someone who doesn’t read constantly. But sty? Dude has never heard of pigsty? Or a sty in your eye? So I asked him if he’d finished high school. Or maybe English wasn’t his first language. He… Stopped sending messages. But he DID finish the game instead of resigning like I suggested. Of course he lost also, lol.
And then there was the chick, that instead of actually playing her turn, tries to find out where I live. So I told her planet Vegeta. She gets all huffy and calls me a Knob Jockey. Nob Jockey! I think that’s in my top ten insults now (spelled as wrong as she did). When I tell her I don’t give out personal information like that, because I’m not a child that’s just learning to use the internet, well she starts in on a sob story of being in another country and just wanting to be cordial to the people she plays with. Whaaatever. Like a john with a hooker and a 1-hour room, I didn’t come to talk. I came to spank that *zz!
In words that is.