The Uppity Negro does not do Holiday Inns

Don’t be upset by the title. I’m not. It was an affectionate nickname by a hispanic friend. Don’t worry, I called him a Border Hopper. Just jokes. One thing that happens in the military is when you really get close with your unit, you can be un-PC all day long and have fun. Of course, at all times you have to be careful that no one in that group is not easily offended.

So, if you’re still reading this you are asking “Why the heck was DT5 called an Uppity Negro?”

Well, I’m a bit of a bourgeois. I didn’t start out that way, but as I’ve gotten older and have more money in my pocket I’ve learned to buy things for quality and comfort rather than always trying to save a buck. Now that doesn’t mean I’m a name brand heffa. Nope, because some brand names things aren’t worth it. Shoes I buy for comfort, not because it’s got a red sole, or had some famous designer’s signature somewhere on it. Hey, I’ve got big super flat hobbit feet. There is no reason to jack them up more with uncomfortable shoes. My son’s clothes are all name brand because he’s a boy, and boys tear up clothes too easily to try to buy knock-offs. Dr. Jays and Macy’s online are my favorite stores for my t-shirts and jeans kid (no jeggins for him, because that is WRONG).

Anyway, I’ve been on spring break at the capital with the Monster Teen. And if you’ve ever been to DC, you know that place is high-priced. But there is one thing I cannot do: stay at any place that has “Inn” or “Motel” in its name. It may have to deal with my dad putting us in many comfort/quality/days inns as a kid when we traveled. It may also have to do with my first paid job, as a housekeeper at Holiday Inn. Oh god what a horror story!

Think 17, still in High School with a newborn little monster. You live close to the beach, so you apply at the “luxury” Holiday Inn on the beach. You realize after the first weekend of work that “cleaning” is relative. There are hardly ever any cleaning supplies, and you’re told to use windex to make things at least look as if they are clean. You’re told you are wasting time and resources if you decide to change the sheets on bed whether they “look” clean or not. And not to mention, you’re laughed at if you decide to use gloves to clean. Even in rooms with empty used condoms laid out across the floor and bed. And high paid strippers that leave double ended dildos on the bed, but expect you to clean their room. Oh HECK no.

Anyway, call me bourgeois, call me uppity, I’m all about comfort and feeling like maybe not a million bucks, but at least couple thousand. So I’ll stay in a Marriot suite, and you can enjoy your roaches and suspect sheets.

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One thought on “The Uppity Negro does not do Holiday Inns

  1. Pingback: Aaaand, Of Course Its A Great Day to be Smacked in the Face Verbally | dimensionthe5th

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