Wishing I Could Dial Down My Awesome to Become Suzy Homemaker

I am not housewife material. Although I know food is a good way to a man’s heart, I’m better at geeking out with them on video games and sci-fi/fantasy shows. Although my house isn’t nasty with things growing in the corner, I’m often distracted for hours by TV Tropes and Cracked.com. And though the muscle man type is pretty to look at from time to time, if they don’t have a geeky brain behind it, interests in music or mythology, or something somewhat out of the “norm” I feel my attraction slip away.

And though there’s plenty of guys who say they want that kind of chick – the one that wants to hang and play video games, it seems to me, they also want Suzy Homemaker. They want someone in the kitchen, possibly popping out more little monsters. While hanging out with friends, the husband basically said that this weekend. His wife is a nerd, and allows him all sorts of nerdy things, but also is being a baby maker, and takes care of house, AND works.

Shattamonkey, I just don’t have it in me.

I’ve tried, trust me. But there is just too much want of independence and compromise in my soul. I almost had a relationship like I wanted, where the guy really DIDN’T care that I didn’t want more children, that I’d rather geek out reading a book or Game of Thrones. That the highlight of my day was being random and talking about religion and psychology in the same breath as talking about comic books. He didn’t mind being a cook, or just slathering me with attention. I know those kind of men are out there. Sadly, most of them have been damaged by women in their past. And one thing I truly truly know is that you can’t make someone else happy, unless you are happy with yourself. And you can’t use another as a crutch, and try to wrap your whole life around them. Or maybe that’s just me.

The other day, while leaving the grocery store, I got hit on by a guy seriously old enough to be my father. Probably older THAN the sperm donor, but it’s hard to tell with our awesome genetics. My family has the fountain of youth on both sides, so it’s always hard for me to figure out others ages. Back to old man Pedo bear. See, I do like guys older than me, but not to the point where someone may say “oh, your daughter is so pretty.” So I was pretty irritated that he even TRIED to talk to me. On top of that, he’s not the first over the hill and in the grave that has hit on me lately.

*Looks in the mirror*

Nope, my chocolateyness still looks fresh and way before its due date. So what the heck? Am I giving off old guy pheremones? Is it because I don’t dress with all my giggles and bits hanging out?

Wait, I was in uniform, which makes me look even younger. That dude really was a pedo. I’ve been told I look like a ROTC student, and not like I’ve been in the military for over ten years. Old men that think they’ll have their mid-life crisis all over me? Uh, yeah no.

All in all, I enjoy my awesome too much to dial it back. In fact, the older I get, the more set in my ways I become. So no Suzy homemaker for me. Cook me dinner! And, don’t mind me as I de-stress from a day of work playing video games.



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