Weird Japanese Things are like Mecha Robot Food for the Soul

This photo makes me hungry.

I love anime. I love Asian horror movies.  And I especially just love random things that make me say “Because… Japan”. I mean, those awesome little people on those little islands probably have a lot of radiation in their brains to come up with the stuff they do. Without them, half of my hobbies would be gone. So thank you Japanese people, thank you for helping geeking up the interwebs and my free time.

There’s so many things that you can find just sitting in the weird part of the internet… and it’s somehow the creation of Japan.

Take this video that I just saw today. What the frack is that? It’s a muthajumpin super large cat. And it only appeared because chewing that gum makes you feel like the meow version of Falcor is toting you around for some reason. That is a load of awesome to brighten anyone’s crappy day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8kU8aCVG0Y

And this link. Oh my sweet baby hay-soos. Who would think that Iron Man and Sailor Moon mashup would make so much sense in my brain? I’m an old school Sailor Moon fan, and I’m very much a fan of Robert Downey Jr’s take on the iron man. This. This is art. This is what I try to look at every couple of days when I lose hope in humanity. I don’t need puppies. I need sailor iron man to keep the doctor away.

And the anime version of Doctor Who. This is one of those things that you stumble across that you never knew you were missing in life until you saw it. Granted, out of all of these I’m not sure if the guy who made it was Japanese, but the feel is so very Japanepic.

Last but not least, I love horror and action movies that are really bad… B movies. And I really love Japanese B movies.  And the one near and dear to my heart is Robogeisha.  People I have this on DVD. I know the trailer by heart. It is a masterpiece of wackiness, and if you don’t find this hilarious there is something wrong with you and I’m sorry for your LIFE.

Okay… my bit of randomness is done. Carry on with your regularly scheduled program.

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George Bailey Disease & Ungrateful Muthajumpers

“Why George, do you really think you can handle that? “

 

I got a disease. It’s a disease that when it flares up I never realize it until after its finished. After I’ve given my time, money, and energy to someone else. George Bailey disease.

Who here has seen “It’s a Wonderful Life”? In my family it’s a staple for Christmas day. It may just be playing in the background, but that old black and white movie will play through at least once on Christmas.

This year, I realized that the movie really started to piss me off.

George Bailey constantly goes through life giving and giving and giving to his family and friends, never getting a chance to realize his dreams. He comes to terms with that until his frackin alcoholic uncle loses the money for their savings and loan, on a day when the Inspector is coming to see how the do business, and the depression is in full swing. Bailey gets straight up suicidal, and honestly, after the life he’s had, who the frack wouldn’t. The rest of the movie goes to show George all the lives he saved and changed for the better, and how horrible it would be without him in the world. And at the end… the town of Bedford Falls gets together to raise money to save him and the Bailey Savings and Loan. The end.

Pffffffft.

I am George Bailey, and I think that’s why his character makes me mad. I’m not as bad as some, but a lot of decisions I’ve made in life has been for others rather than myself. I’ve given away cars for free to family members, paid off bills, bought furniture, loaned my home and time to people without getting anything back. And some will say, well dt5, that’s just being a good person. You’re supposed to do things without expecting things back.

But I get burned because of it constantly.

When I’m in a bind those same people disappear like smoke. Or after I’ve given everything they’ve ever asked for, I’m told to stay out of their business, I shouldn’t have an opinion. And of course there are those that just feel entitled, and once you give an inch freely, they take a mile and a half, the shoes off my feet and the shirt off my back.

I love to give. It makes me feel like my tummy is full of care bears and unicorn farts. Just happy bubbles. At the same time, spending year after year as the only one to not get anything for Christmas wears kind of thin. Or that I’m the first pick for extra military work because “oh she loves that stuff and is good at it.” It mentally hurts to turn someone down, but I am only one person! I’ve in the past been close to stress breakdowns from being the one doing everything.

Maybe it’s my fault for not saying no. But like George Bailey I can’t help helping. I was made this way, born to want to help others.

But sometimes. .. it pisses me the frack off.

It’s a wonderful life. But those that help make yours wonderful, just let them know your appreciation. .. and give back to them every once in a while.

And don’t wait until they’re jumping off into the ocean and meeting angels without wings and stuff.

Plotting Ways To Get a Voodoo Doll To Use On Your Instructor

About one-quarter done of massage therapy school and I’m. .. LEARNING ALL THE THINGS!!! Seriously, I have a 4.0 and am proudly good at this ish. I’ve found (part of) my calling. And it brings me peace and relief to learn these new techniques to heal people.

But…

There is the added stress of work, and military physical training, and snow fracking days taking my night school from 4 days a week to 5.

Fridays? I miss you. I didn’t want to leave you. I’m being held captive by touch hippies! It’s ok, I’ll be back one day.

The problem that gives me the most heartburn though is 2 of the instructors I’ve had so far.

First up is our pathology instructor. Let’s call her something Holly because that sounds like a generic peach crayon retired cheerleader. Her real name is just as bad. Anyway “Heather” sounds like if Ben Stein made 5 clones of himself, went to a party, gangbanged a high valley girl with no goals in life, and then she somehow birthed a child with all their powers combined.

Her voice had me sitting on my hands because I had started to strangle MYSELF. How can you sound like a zombie cheerleader on roofies?! Every frackin sentence is a half death rattle. And the face? Nope, close the shades because no one is in that attic except cobwebs and tumbleweed. In fact, just sell the house.

On top of the voice… she reads. For 4 hours. As an instructor, the worst, absolute worst thing you could do to any class (especially a night class) is just read monotone from a dry book. I’m not a science minded person (unless it’s sci-fi), so I’m already struggling to keep attention. I seriously feel homicidal every time I walk into the classroom and see this chick. I picture squeezing her neck and her head popping off like a balloon. It’s a Looney Toons death in my head, maybe because she’s driving me to lunacy. That is not the way a massage therapist should feel. We’re supposed to be hippies and one with the earth and all that b.s. right?

Sadly, there’s another, and I’m not sure which one is worse. The other instructor that raises my hackles and brings out the kitty that’s had their tail stepped on? Our so-called professional development instructor. THIS dude. This dude is like an unfunny Tyler Perry without the crossdressing. Or the tallness. Or the money. Maybe he’s not like Tyler Perry at all.
But he IS a pompous douchebag of douchebaggery proportions. He is the level of irritation like a pimple on a butt.

The biggest problem I have is his “I got a bachelor’s degree in business and even though I’ve never ran my own business you can not possibly be smarter than me” attitude. As one that has actual experience in marketing and branding and strategic planning thanks to DOING IT IN THE REAL WORLD AND NOT OUT OF A FRACKIN BOOK, I guess I get a little offended. Well, especially when I answer a question, I’m told I’m wrong, and then someone else gives the same answer I did, and told they are right.

The second issue is his nails. Yes. His nails. He has coke nail pinkies. When I see them I imagine dark alleys and purple pimp suits. Maybe even some boots with a goldfish swimming in the heels. For fracks sake, what man walks around looking like a reject from the Cosby show with just super long pinky nails???

Just add coke pinky…

And how is that in any way being an example to the students you teach when day one we are told to keep our nails nubbin short. My tender little fingers still feel so raw and brand new like a baby just coming out of their mommyverse (momalaxy?) every time I cut them.

My new mental health lady (I’m going for stress, not because of my crazy. My crazy is my normal!) says I need to let go and just focus on things I can control. So while I keep my 4.0 in school, I will control my urges to possibly do violent things in class. That’s enough slack from me, they get to live!

You Snooze You Lose… SUCKAAAAAAAS!

Some men (and women I guess. Not sure since I’ve never did this myself) have a mental defect in dating that I think I will call OPP disease. “OPP” in this case refers to “Other People’s Property.”

I am NOT down with this OPP.

Nope. LIES!

It seems that since I have gotten into a relationship after all this time of being single, all these fellows come out of the woodwork! Seriously, I still have my OK Cupid page up (I haven’t looked at it in a long, long while) and still receive many emails that I just delete as they pop up in gmail. The thing is, I get MORE emails now that it says “seeing someone.” I’m sure more than half of these guys are probably married or in a serious relationship and think I’m still up there to cheat or something, but that rubs this kitty the wrong way.

And then there’s Sippy Cup. Remember him? Very nice looks but no substance? Read here: (http://dimensionthe5th.com/2013/06/23/hes-awesome-wait-whats-wrong-with-him/ ) and here: (http://dimensionthe5th.com/2013/09/12/im-a-dating-alien-but-not-dating-aliens/ ). Anyway, Sippy does an open mic night at his place of business. That’s one reason I still talk to him, and stay friendly. He has plenty of women that come in and drool all over him like I did for a short while. A few have irritated me, until I’ve told Sippy to let his heffas know I’m not interested in any way shape or form in him. Other than that, we’ve been just friendly. Until I brought the Dude in one night to hear me read some poetry. Suddenly my phone starts blowing up afterwards with messages from Sippy Cup. The“do you have plans this weekend” kind and such, when I could barely get a message before even when I was talking business. Oh, and the really creepy one from him, sending me a picture of my housing area sign along with the message “Guess who’s nearby. Are you home?”

Yeah, Sippy, I’m home, with my DUDE. And my other man, Hector the Couch. What is your malfunction?

This may be another “dimensionthe5th has prude ways” thing, but it doesn’t flatter me. It makes me very disgusted when someone shows interest AFTER the a person becomes involved with someone else. It’s like, someone is happy, let me try to stop that ish because it’s not natural.

There’s that weird foot and sock guy that started trying to text me again and see what I’m up to. With him, since he thought I was on the stupid truck with his girlfriend situation, I think HE thinks that now that I’m seriously dating someone I can be a hoe-bag right along with him.

Um, no. I’m very satisfied.

There’s the exes from years ago, who always seem to pop up in my inbox and say we should hang out. For what? I haven’t seen you in almost 10 years, we’re FB friends and that’s it. Why would I want to see you. By the way, I really should clean up my faceybook friends list.

Sometimes it’s not the guys trying to get OPP flowing through my veins. It’s also the well-meaning friends that think that you shouldn’t put all of your eggs in one basket. That believe in having backup twig n berries in case your significant other pisses you off. To me, that shows that these women with their so-called advice do not at the time, or have not ever had a good relationship. For me, if it is great, I can’t even SEE other guys. There is just no attraction. Even when the dude and I have our mini disagreements I don’t automatically think “Hmmm, I need to bring out the twigs and berries in storage and get some use out of them.” I’m not a teenager. That’s young girl beliefs that I’ve stopped long before now.

Maybe I should just take it as compliment, but I really just feel it’s a grass is greener on the other side thing. And it just make me green, hulk green. I think I’ve just really mixed up where I was trying to go with this point, but oh well.