When Christians Attack Their Own… Judgey Judgey Judgey

That should be one of those National Geographic videos.

See the Christian in their natural habitat. Judging, judging, judging.

You can tell I’m a little irritated at my so-called fellow spiritual people right now? Just a tid bittle.

It started with joining a new church a couple of months ago. I’m finicky about churches. So much so that this is only the 2nd church I’ve joined in…yeah over 15 years. Considering I’ve moved plenty different places and attended different churches, something has really got to move me to make me want to join. And this church did/does. The service and the people as a whole don’t bother me. They are all very kind.

But I ran into a bit of trouble with their super bible study on crack.

So they don’t call it bible study, it’s a life group. Because you learn about life through the bible and your connection with those in your group. Something like that. I forgot how the spiel is supposed to go, pffft. I sound like I’m totally rolling my eyes at this idea when I’m not honestly. For introverted/independent/awkward me, being a part of something like this is a GOOD thing. So, they have these different groups across the lands, multiple ones for adults and children. The Monster Teen slid into the first meeting like a fat kid slides a slice of pizza in their mouth. Sluuurp! He fit in fit in.

Me.

Well…

So I picked randomly a group to join.

Wait. I DIDN’T pick that group myself. A friend at the same church selected the group so we could have at least one person we knew when we went.

The group is really small. Under 10 people, and all older than my friend and I. They also mostly have smaller monsters than my monster teen. And they are all married. I am also the only chocolatey person there, though I expected that.

Although the first meeting is somewhat awkward, I brushed it off as first time in a group issues. The next time though is horrid. First off, my sinuses were hijacked by gremlins, and were playing swing music throughout my brain. Then the group leader’s husband is not there, and she becomes a very bitter and anti-social person. We’re having a frackin potluck and she doesn’t try to have a normal conversation. I’m asked why I didn’t bring my monster teen. For what? To play with 5 year olds? And then when I try to talk about hobbies or work, or the frackin weather, I get one word answers back.

I’m awkward already. I say things in conversation randomly that makes people think I have screws loose. So when I’m trying extra hard to connect with normal people, nothing pisses me off more when THEY can’t do normal conversation. With my dying sinuses I got out of there as fast as possible, vowing to never ever never come back. Because my thoughts were turning completely unchristiany. In fact, they were quite demonic.

Luckily there’s more than one super bible study on crack. I’ll find one that doesn’t make me feel like an outcast, or like committing a 10 commandment no no.

Biting My Tongue Until I Bleed: Office Conversations on Political Stuffs

I absolutely HATE talking politics at work. I don’t really like talking politics with friends. But someone always, always, always brings their own political agenda in the mix and makes me have to bite my tongue. See, when political stances start, this seems to be the only time that I can shut my mouth and put a leash on it. Especially at work. Because contrary to belief, an average person’s political beliefs seem to be even more of a powder keg than their religious beliefs ( even though the 2 are probably 75 percent of the time tied together).

So 2 instances this week went above and beyond my tongue biting skills, and straight into about to have convulsions from trying to force swallow it. So I didn’t give my opinion.

The first was from a sweet old lady in the office, of the brown crayon persuasion. You know, one of those old school little old black ladies that still wears the old school black sponge rollers in her hair (I know, because she has accidentally came to work with some still in). I love this little old lady to death, but she is ooooooold school. And very set in old school opinions. And so, she will say things that you cannot say in a government office. We were discussing something or other when she’s describing someone she knows except:

“…although he is gay, and I just don’t like that gay stuff and will never agree with that.” *drops voice down* “Oops, I probably shouldn’t say that too loud.”

Ya think? The military has changed drastically over the last few years when it comes to its policy about the LGBT crowd. And I’m proud to say I believe the military is as a whole doing a whole lot better than the rest of the country. Yes, we are politically incorrect when we joke around, but most guys and gals are NOT worried about which giggles n bits/ twigs and berries you prefer when it comes down to watching your back in the sandbox. Or maybe that’s just my optimistic belief. But my point is, hmmm, I guess my point is that in the military (whether you are a government civilian or uniformed troop) with DADT repealed, and all the training we’ve received about it, you can’t come out of your mouth with comments like that. You never know who you are serving with.

The not-so-funny thing is the same week I hear complete ridiculousness about treating America like a Christian country. So, I’m in work bible study, and this dude starts talking about how he thinks it’s a shame, a travesty that we Christians in this Christian nation are letting the really bad sinners (ie: gay people) do whatever they want.

Pause.

Hummana wha?

Since when, since when freakin when was the US a “Christian country”? Maybe when the first settlers came along to duck religious persecution. I don’t know, my history knowledge is spotty. I got great grades while in school, but brain dumped more than half of that mess.

What I do know is that America opened it’s doors to ALL people, no matter their freedom, and that they are free to worship as they please. Isn’t that in the frackin Constitution? We can worship dolphin spittle and that’s fine and dandy. It does NOT, however, make this a Dolphin Spitism country. So no, your argument is daggone invalid. So sorry. Try again. And I say this as a Christian, albeit I’m not a hate all others that believe anything else. And I’m definitely not going to judge a person for one sin. What happened to all sins are equal? Why do so many of us spend soooo much time on ONE sin? These are people who didn’t remain a virgin until marriage, smoke or drink to excess, gossip, lie, but get on a very high horse when it comes to homosexuality. I. DON’T. GET. IT.

I don’t care what you do in your bedroom during smexy times. I would say as long as you don’t hurt anyone physically, but hey, some like a little slap and tickle. I would say as long as it’s consenting. When it comes to if you are hurting the soul you may or may not believe in, that is your choice. Free frackin will and all that.

So I sat quietly in that Bible study, trying to keep quiet and trying to understand why people think they should make choices and judge other people. Of course, I’m judging all those judgementals right now are I? So, I’ll just shut up, and go back to my delicious tongue meal.

Yum. Nom, nom, nom.

You’re Doing It Wrong… My Beliefs on Church, Tithing, and Smoking Christians

I don’t talk to deeply to many friends about religion because they’re from all across the spectrum. I believe that’s the way it’s supposed to be and makes for interesting discussion if others are actually secured in their beliefs. I am. A lot of people really aren’t, as much as they try to portray that they are. Especially a lot of my atheist friends, I come to find. To me it’s just weird how they react when they find out in fact that I am actually a practicing Christian. They seem to think, but dimensionthe5th, you don’t run around speaking in tongues and whipping people upside the head with a bible like whack-a-mole. You smoke, and drink, and have fifty-eleven tats and piercings and I did NOT just hear you say that your major used to be in Religious Studies and you almost decided to go officer to become a Chaplain. WTF?

Well, hmm. All that is very true. But all my tattoos are religious themed. My piercings, eh, I just like decoration and I don’t believe it to be a sin. Have I endangered others or my own body/temple by them? Nope. Smoking and my bottle of Riesling, pfft, everyone has sins. No one is perfect. And my bible is on my Kindle… Right along with all my sci-fi, fantasy, and horror books. It fits right in 😉

Another note on smoking Christians, why do they (non-smoking Christians) try to treat smoking like it’s worse than them needing 2 seats on a plane to sit comfortably? I swear the next time a portly fellow or lady says “You should quit. It’s bad you health,” I’m going to say “so are those donuts around your stomach.” DIABEETUS!

Anyway… Sidetracked. Yes, I’m a Christian. Meaning I believe in a person that died for my sins, whatever his name is. I use the bible for knowledge and thinking, but I do not believe that word for word it is God’s written word. I think it’s been in too many hands of men over the years with different agendas to be anything close to what was original long ago. I believe if God was put in front of a human psychologist, his actions would be considered insane, psychopathic, because we’d go crazy trying to grasp all of the beginning and end. I’m not Catholic, Baptist, Holiness, any denomination. I’m just me.

That may weird some of you out. But I’m not trying to convert you. In my opinion its your job to seek knowledge to come to a conclusion of what you believe. Mine took me here. I have friends that are Muslim, Wiccan, Atheist, Buddhist, and even some believe in aliens. That’s good on them. I don’t judge them. I don’t sit and wonder if they’ll go to heaven or hell. To me that’s not my job. Probably why I ended up dropping the Chaplain dream.

I also can’t deal with the antiquated ideas of giving money to the church to get yourself in Heaven. Otherwise known as Tithing.

Let me explain for those that are not in the know. Every church has some kind of collection plate, no matter which denomination I’ve attended in the past. And there’s two types of donations, tithes and offerings. Now, many of these churches cite the Old Testament saying that we must give 10 percent of our earnings to the church, and that if not, we are cheating God. My home church likes to use this verse from Malachi Chapter 3, Verse 10: “Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.”

I call BS on the church. Why?

Because going by the same bible, when we lovely little saved sinners go to heaven at the end of days, we will be judge by our works. Not how much money we donated to the church. Works mean the good things we’ve done in life. Helping those that couldn’t help themselves, giving time and energy (and money in those cases you want to) to those around us, the less fortunate. I interpret it to mean not only giving my money to the church, but to the charities, to taking the time out to work for free and help elderly, the sick, heck even being a good girl scout volunteer, especially when they have mothers behind bars. I think God cares more about my unselfish acts than how much I gave to the church of my bank account (Check out New Testament 2 Corinthians Chapter 8). What in the heck is God going to do with a man-made thing like money anyway? Fix up the throne room in heaven? Hire some janitors so he can sit back and chill? Maybe the angels need some spending money when they hit places like Vegas to watch over the gambling sinners… Pfffft.

So, I give, what I want to the church, when I want. And when they call for tithers to stand I do. I may not give ten percent of my money, but I try to give more than ten percent of my soul. With all my varying beliefs, I guess we’ll see one day if I was totally off the mark. About everything. I don’t feel like I am, but well, if not, I guess this little black chick will finally know what tanning feels like – extreme style.

***For anyone that’d like to read more about theologians that share my belief on tithing, check out this website: http://www.tithing-russkelly.com/ Interesting read, even if you don’t agree.***