Weird Japanese Things are like Mecha Robot Food for the Soul

This photo makes me hungry.

I love anime. I love Asian horror movies.  And I especially just love random things that make me say “Because… Japan”. I mean, those awesome little people on those little islands probably have a lot of radiation in their brains to come up with the stuff they do. Without them, half of my hobbies would be gone. So thank you Japanese people, thank you for helping geeking up the interwebs and my free time.

There’s so many things that you can find just sitting in the weird part of the internet… and it’s somehow the creation of Japan.

Take this video that I just saw today. What the frack is that? It’s a muthajumpin super large cat. And it only appeared because chewing that gum makes you feel like the meow version of Falcor is toting you around for some reason. That is a load of awesome to brighten anyone’s crappy day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8kU8aCVG0Y

And this link. Oh my sweet baby hay-soos. Who would think that Iron Man and Sailor Moon mashup would make so much sense in my brain? I’m an old school Sailor Moon fan, and I’m very much a fan of Robert Downey Jr’s take on the iron man. This. This is art. This is what I try to look at every couple of days when I lose hope in humanity. I don’t need puppies. I need sailor iron man to keep the doctor away.

And the anime version of Doctor Who. This is one of those things that you stumble across that you never knew you were missing in life until you saw it. Granted, out of all of these I’m not sure if the guy who made it was Japanese, but the feel is so very Japanepic.

Last but not least, I love horror and action movies that are really bad… B movies. And I really love Japanese B movies.  And the one near and dear to my heart is Robogeisha.  People I have this on DVD. I know the trailer by heart. It is a masterpiece of wackiness, and if you don’t find this hilarious there is something wrong with you and I’m sorry for your LIFE.

Okay… my bit of randomness is done. Carry on with your regularly scheduled program.

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Okay, Were the Cats in My Dream Trying to Steal My Soul… or Give Me Sweet, Sweet Bestiality Loving? – Nightmares

I tend to have some fracked up dreams, but one last night woke me up and made it hard to go back to sleep… And it was my favorite animal, being all creepy.

 

Cats.

So I dream that I’m sitting on the floor, going through bags of beef jerky to find the perfect piece. But suddenly, there’s a cat in front of me gobbling (and then regurgitating) the jerky right in front of me. “Hey Hershey (my cat’s name), stop that!” I yell and try to waves my hands at the cat. Until it turns around and looks at me and I know it’s not my cat. No. This cat of HELL has complete inky black fur (Hershey is tortoise-shell) and has black demon eyes with no pupil. Then I realize that I’m now lying flat of my stomach with my arms spread out and two more of these demon cats are holding down each arm with one paw. They also have the depths of hell eyes and fur. And they just stare at me.

This is the light skinned version. Creepy muthatrucka.

 

I realize this is a dream, and that I need to fight to wake up or these demon cats are going to kill me in my sleep. Finally I do, short of breath like I’ve been underwater. I reach for my handy-dandy smart phone and start googling the SH*T out of some dream sites.

 

So http://www.dreammoods.com says this: To see a black cat in your dream indicates that you are experiencing some fear in using your psychic abilities and believing in your intuition. You may erroneously associate the black cat with evil, destruction, and bad luck. In particular, if the black cat is biting, clawing or attacking you, then the dream means that you must acknowledge what your intuition is trying to tell you. You can no longer ignore it. Do not be afraid to face the situation.

Uhhhh, okay, so I believe in my intuition and NEVER try to ignore it anymore. About what? What is my intuition telling me?! I’m not trying to ignore it, it’s just not clear. Grrr… Arggggggh

The next site was http://www.experienceproject.com/dream-dictionary/Cats-dreams which told me: To dream of a cat, denotes ill luck, if you do not succeed in killing it or driving it from your sight. If the cat attacks you, you will have enemies who will go to any extreme to blacken your reputation and to cause you loss of property. But if you succeed in banishing it, you will overcome great obstacles and rise in fortune and fame.

Well, frack me, I fought to wake up! You’re saying I should have stayed in the creepy cat dream being held down by three cats with torture and murder in their evil eyes, just so I could fight them? With what? The fracking beef jerky? Bark like a dog?!

 

And then this last one I read before I said frack it I’m going to read for a bit, and then try to get my last 2 hours of sleep (http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/cat/ ): Because a cat is often an easy source of physical contact and affection it can depict the need to be cared for and warm affection, even sexual love accompanied with intense warm feelings.

You may have felt a lot of affection from a cat, and so associate it with sensual, or even sexual pleasure. It can also represent your need to care for someone or be cared for, to have close physical contact.

Example: ‘I went to the fridge to get out some mincemeat to feed the cat. It came in. As it fed I had a strong urge to touch it, such strong feelings of love were pouring out of me. The animal looked up at my face as I wanted to kiss it. The lips had pink lipstick on. I kissed it, it’s paw came up around my arm, I could see the black claws. We were rolling around on the floor, it felt very sexual.’ Monica.

 

Um…WTFBBQ?

That’s it. I stopped a kitty gang bang in my dream. All is right with the world.

I am under this pile. Completely violated. *Sniffle*

Answers to the Questions of the World: Why does Goofy wear pants and not Pluto?

Hello Weirdos!

Seriously, it was one of those weird things that got stuck in my head this week. I’ve asked my son what he thinks. I’ve even looked a little online to see if there was an answer, but then stopped after just looking at the Google search list. I was going to do some random thinking about this on my own… And see just how illogi- how AWESOME I could get.

So here’s the start of the theory: Older Disney cartoons never show humans right? I can’t remember if they do, and no, I’m not looking it up because that would defeat this whole post of randomness. Anyway, no humans are shown because the DisneyMickeyVerse (henceforth known as the DMV) is set after humans have wiped themselves out. Even if the old black and white cartoons show humans, those are mutants.

Without the world’s biggest predator (or so we’d like to imagine ourselves) long gone and non-zombified, other creatures, from chemicals from leftover weapons released into the air, began to grow intelligence at a rapid rate. Not all, but let’s say about half. They also began to stop aging. As the DMV animals got smarter, they took what was left over from the extinct humans and begin to use it. Things like cars, government, leftover homes, and clothes. And some things they ended up not using exactly the way that humans did (like Donald Duck not wearing pants).

One of the laws the DMV set up was what constituted a thinking animal, or a humanimal. Tests were made to see how far a humanimal evolved to allow them to live as an upright citizen. Mickey for instance, passed the exam with flying colors. Humanimals like Goofy barely passed, but because his speaking skills were developed he was allowed humanimal status. But some, like Pluto, just did not evolve. Unevolved animals like him were kept as pets instead, and monitored in case their status changed.

And that’s my theory on the DisneyMickeyVerse, and why a dog species like Goofy can be upright and talking as a citizen, but Pluto remains a pet.

Awesome right. Up next (maybe) I’ll write my idea on what aliens are 😉